Join Me Maybe
by Do a Barrel Roll
Summary: Complete "Call Me Maybe" parody. In Cloud City, Vader realizes that Luke doesn't know the truth about his father. So it is revealed in song...by Vader, of all people. The Sith Lord sings of father and son relationships and the benefits of joining the Dark Side, all while being autotuned. I swear, sometimes I think some neurons in my brain misfired.


**Am I churning out these oneshots or what? Anyway, song parodies have grown on me, and this is one of three that I worked on while on vacation!**

**Seriously, no one ever writes a complete parody of this song, they only do the chorus. Not me, though!**

**Nope, I don't own Star Wars or "Call Me Maybe."**

* * *

**Join Me Maybe**

Vader clenched his fist menacingly, seeming to loom over Luke despite the distance between them. "If you only know the power of the Dark Side! Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."

Luke gritted his teeth and snarled, "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

Vader shook his head and said, "No..." Suddenly, a spotlight shined down on the Dark Lord, and seemingly from subspace Vader plucked up a microphone. Bubbly yet annoying pop music began to play in the background as Vader sang.

* * *

_"I know I seem like a tool_

_Because I haven't been cool_

_I didn't mean to be cruel_

_But you were in my way_

_You lost your hand to my blade_

_Just now it fell into space_

_But you can have it replaced_

_'Cause that'll go my way_

* * *

_Your mom was pretty_

_Kind, smart, and so witty_

_We left from the city_

_We then married and got busy_

* * *

_Hey, I just met you_

_And this is crazy_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe!"_

* * *

By now, Luke was positively gaping, but Vader did not halt his song.

* * *

_"And I know that you whine_

_Like a baby_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

_Hey, I just met you_

_And this is crazy_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

_And I know that you whine_

_Like a baby_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

* * *

_You really should join the Dark_

_I know the difference is stark_

_But you can make things like sparks_

_Please, son, just go my way_

_We'll rule the whole galaxy_

_Create our own dynasty_

_We'll do what we want, all for free_

_Screw all that's in our way_

* * *

_Your mom was pretty_

_Kind, smart, and so witty_

_We left from the city_

_We then married and got busy_

* * *

_Hey, I just met you_

_And this is crazy_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

_And I know that you whine_

_Like a baby_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

_Hey, I just met you_

_And this is crazy_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

_And I know that you whine_

_Like a baby_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

* * *

_And son, I know that the Jedi _

_Said I'm so bad_

_Said I'm so bad_

_Said I'm so, so bad_

_And son, I know that the Jedi_

_Said I'm so bad_

_But you can bet that_

_I'll make a real great dad!"_

* * *

Vader paused and let the music play as him and Luke made eye contact, though Luke looked as if he wanted to gouge his eyes out with a lightsaber rather than listen anymore. Still, Vader had to finish.

* * *

_"And I know that you whine_

_Like a baby_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

_Hey, I just met you_

_And this is crazy_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

_And I know that you whine_

_Like a baby_

_But I'm your father_

_So join me maybe_

* * *

_And, son, I know that the Jedi_

_Said I'm so bad_

_But you can bet that_

_Join me, maybe?"_

* * *

Vader, once again, glanced to Luke, waiting for his son to make the big decision. Luke gazed at Vader, then looked downward, before letting go of the gantry and falling to the planet's core.

Vader shook his head mournfully. "I knew I shouldn't have used autotune!"

* * *

**Geez...I am absolutely sick of this song now after having to sing it in my head in order to write. I didn't even like it in the first place!**

**Do you know what alleviates this agony? Reviews! Reviews make a happy (err, happier) Wolf.**


End file.
